It never seems to end, does it? Just when you think you have a firm grasp of everything, be if for good or bad, something else comes along, the sole-purpose of which is to underscore just how little a grasp you actually have. It’s like you finally get that moment of peace, and the universe sends a new hurricane.
I’ve lived in this world since October 2012. I get glimmers of hope that are quickly snuffed. Many times I just want to give up. I look into teaching English in Asia, to get myself as far away from the circumstances as possible, until God reminds me that He has different plans for me. I get angry at Him for not delivering my family from the devastation that surrounds us, and ask why should I care about His plans? Why should I care about His plans when my family is forced to live in calamity? There are days I don’t want to get out of bed. I just fell ill for the first time in years, carrying a fever for over four days, something that has never happened to me before. I have trouble remaining focused. I am making stupid decisions. I can’t remember the last time I had a full night’s sleep. The list goes on and on.
Be angry, but sin not (Ephesians 4:26 paraphrased)
So rather than becoming a fool by turning from God completely, reminded by the examples set by the saints of old, Joseph and Daniel in particular, I spent some time in prayer and reading God’s word. During this time, I read Psalm 37:23 and 24 in the New Living Translation:
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.
Having prayed for God’s will for my life this morning, His direction, confessing that I know nothing, this reassured me. It gave me new hope. God delights in every detail of our lives! The creator of the universe cares about my toothpaste. If He cares about my toothpaste, then certainly He cares about the big things!
He knows that I make mistakes. He knows that I made them, and He knows that I will continue making them, BUT He grabs hold of me before I hit the pavement. He steadies me, and if need be, carries me, until I can stand again.
Reading further, I got to verses 38 and 39:
38 But the rebellious will be destroyed;
they have no future.
39 The Lord rescues the godly;
he is their fortress in times of trouble.
I have heard many of the brethren say, and it is being said with increased frequency as the wickedness of our times increases, that they don’t know how the people in the world survive without Jesus. He is the only hope.
By Christ the solid rock I stand.
All other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is sinking sand.
I don’t know how the people of the world do it. Actually, we know how they cope, with the rise in violence, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, occult activities, etc. They have their own escapes, all of which lead to destruction.
Heavenly Father, look upon this world, Your creation, with mercy. Have mercy on us all. Forgive us for not trusting You. Forgive us for not turning to You. Forgive us for our unforgiveness toward our fellow man. Show us the way, dear Lord. Give us Your direction. We need You more than ever, since the flood. Send Your Spirit upon the whole earth, giving direction to Your followers as You plant us where we can be most effective for You and our fellow man.