A friend of mine shared this tidbit of wisdom with me, after hearing me fuss with my son about remaining focused while I was on the phone. She told me that it comes from the book Have a New Kid by Friday.
Remember that YOU are the parent. As the parent, your child will need something from you long before you need them. Arm yourself with this knowledge and don’t get worked up when they don’t behave appropriately. They want to engage you in a volatile exchange, but don’t give in to it. They will eventually have a request; you know they will. Simply deny the request and go about your business. Invariably, they will try to engage you to for the reason behind the denial. By this time, you are calm because the offense took place in the past, but remain firm and stick to the denial. When pressed, calmly remind them of the offense: “Remember when I asked you to clean your room and it’s a mess? That’s why you can’t go to Billy’s party.” After one or two times, you should see improvement.
I’ve already seen the results and am thankful for the advise, Mrs. Deb!
To all the teens, reading this, you know I still love you, but you also know that all share tactics with one another. We did it when we were your age. I’m just leveling the playing field a bit. 😉